See, now, I think Sheetz looks more like James Hewitt... WAIT A MINUTE

Irish are similar to Native Americans. Their cultures were basically abolished by Anglo-Saxons yet for some reason Anglos like to think names connected to those cultures make them special.

One of my kids had a teacher who handed out duo-tangs filled with pages of grammar exercises. She carefully wrote on each cover “GRAMMER BOOK.” Every time my kid brought that book home, I’d say, “You know that’s wrong, right?” but I held my tongue all year because if you correct a grammar school teacher, she hates you…

Well I mean, this is the 6th week of a weekly feature. You might as well request a Kristen Cavallari-free day on Gawker, for all the good it does.

Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad

I have literally NEVER considered the appearance of my labia, either clothed or unclothed. I would think, if you're worried about how your pussy looks in the clothes you're wearing, you could wear different clothes, right? Like, heavier underwear? A panty liner even? Maybe this is a generational thing?

Maybe they finally negotiated their way out of it, or found a loophole? Or something about the Rule Against Perpetuities, which nobody understands? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Right? Ryan’s statement is SO SHITTY in that the subtext is he’s disappointed that McCarthy won’t take what is an inherently shitty job that Ryan believes he’s too good for. If it’s REALLY that important, then do it your own goddamn self, Curly.

Congratulations to new House Speaker A Gestating Fetus

I can see why someone who doesn’t worry constantly about food availability would find this stuff strange. And a lot of the GF buzz has gotten out of hand. But for those of us who do have Celiac or food allergies (Hi, I have both.) food is not a stress-free thing. The idea of a convention center full of things that are…

Kanye Western is kind of an awesome costume idea. Here’s how to dress for it:

“Looks like the Summer of Splits is leading to an Autumn of Atonement.“

I mean, the bride/groom are obviously tasteless, but come on. #TeamNoOne

Also, if it’s an open bar, you generally pay per guest regardless of how much they consume. At my wedding, everyone will have to take a breathalyzer before they leave, and if they haven’t had their allotted booze, they’ll need to stick around until they do. I paid for that wine; you’re gonna DRINK IT AND LIKE IT!

I wore a skirt that was too short. The wind did the rest.

That poor fucking kid. He must’ve been so proud of what he made and to have his efforts met with such racist suspicion is heartbreaking. He sounds like a great student and every teacher involved in this mess should be thoroughly ashamed.

Oh, now I see that you’re either a straight-up moron who would defend a criminal for causing an accident rather than a father scared for his family’s safety...or, your some wanna-be gangsta trying to act street on a website using FiOS while livin’ hard in the cul-de-sacs of Owings Mills. Let me guess, you only want…

Did you just reveal the identity of Left Shark?

So just 10% of the time you'd vote for her?

Taylor and Calvin and Joe and Gigi and Karlie