Can we redo the 1969 coin-toss?

Whatever idiot.

That’s a good dog.

I came here to say this very thing. Perfect analogy.

Yeah.

Good goddamn do people like to line up behind royalty. No wonder monarchies stay in power. Line up like a good little subject.

Both? It matters as much as you give a shit what people think about it. And also, which people you choose to hang your give-a-shit-about hat on. If we’re talking the standard heterosexual male wanting attractive women to find him attractive (which is my case, too, lest you think I’m disparaging it), you might need to…

You’re free to be gleeful. I’ve just accepted it and decided to work on other aspects of my appearance. Sucks, but I’ve got plenty of other shit to be thankful for in my life.

I’m 31 and that’s about what my head would look like if I didn’t shave it. Good ol’ genetic lottery.

Aw come on, I didn’t call you names :(

Boo fucking hoo, polite society has a slight distaste for religious jokes involving an historically maligned group of people and gets its jollies making fun of the religion of a culturally powerful group. Is it annoying as shit when people can’t take a joke? Yes. Is it even more annoying when people whine about other…

I disagree with your statement. He could be rocking a yarmulke in Mecca and I’d still think he has a bat up his ass.

The worst thing about LSD is that it causes morons to confuse illogical balls-tripping with mystical revealed wisdom. No, idiot, you thought your shoe was a space elf and you talked about machines for an hour.

Like access to video games is a goddamn civil right or something? Perspective, man!

Wow it’s so interesting that you do coke. I’d love to hear more about the coke you do, and how much more fun you have when you’re doing coke with your friends, who also do coke, and haha you’re so bad. You’re bad! Oh you.

In the Oppression Olympics, it really should be no contest between the remains of the impoverished dead and modern-day “witches,” although I suspect the witches may get some favorable scores from the Jezebel judges.

Chronic lyme is the best disease to fake if you’re both attention-seeking and incredibly lazy.

My wife kept her name and that was the correct thing to do.

“I wanna do right, but not right now.”

It’s not a thin line at all. They are two very different things, and yes, the concept of widespread, systemic Irish enslavement was absolutely made out of whole cloth. Check the sources on these things. It’s fabricated images, misattributions, and other falsehoods.