phrasing...

Ugh now I want Breakfast for Lunch, specifically rashers.

I waitressed at an especially douchey, mildly racist themed DC bar

I mean given that they were one of 2 teams to be in the top four every year in the 2000’s, and their current run of form, I would say that they’re the model of consistency and predictability in the Premier League.

The idea that Arsenal’s play is inconsistent is dumb. You can’t play at full pace all game. 3-0 up is a good time to change formation. Wenger is known as a good tactician, and I’m glad to see him finally get good luck too.

Ozil is amazing even on his off days. I think the issue is that when he’s double or triple teamed, it’s not obvious how much space he creates in the midfield. (A lot of that is, unfortunately, tactics related)

His movement off the ball is always good (and underrated), but in this game it was transcendent.

I think that might be the worst part; I have no memory of who this girl is.

I have no idea, I didn’t even drink back then. I spent that weekend doing volunteer work with Toys for Tots (again, a dumb decision on on a broken foot). I think they assumed it had something to do with a car.

An obese friend bet me that I couldn’t lift him up. This was freshman year of high school and I was trying to impress a girl (why would she have been impressed?) so I took him up on it. I was 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds. When I lifted him, my left knee gave out and I immediately broke several bones in my foot.…

A comedian/protester made it rain all over Sepp “on behalf of the North Korean delegation” as a bribe.

It’s almost too perfect, but it actually happened.

It took him a sec to realize what it was because he doesn’t recognize money that isn’t covered in blood or cocaine.

You’re right though, it’s literally perfect.

#afGIFism?

The GIF that keeps on giving...

Haha I’ve been wanting to go again for a while.

After jumping out of a plane for the first time, I just felt high and horny for the next 24 hours. Unfortunately I said this out loud while sitting in the car on the way home not realizing that I had just accidentally called my dad and was in the middle of leaving him a voicemail.

I’ve gotten through airport security without an id more than once by showing the TSA Agent my credit card and telling him the number on it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting attention, even if it’s from someone you’re not especially interested in. That being said, maybe he thought it was awkward too? That could explain the delay in texting you back.