You blew a once in a lifetime headline.

Oh man, I barley caught the “hopping” joke

“One time I drank several too many Smithwick’s at a pub quiz, and the following morning had the worst beer shits in the history of mankind.”

If only Selena Gomez had turned down this role, that sexual abuse that happened 25 years before she was born would have never happened.

It, you know...couldddddddd just be that baseball is my favorite sport, man. I understand that it’s hard to believe that coming from the guy with the anthropomorphic baseball man literally riding a baseball bat for an avatar, but I’ll just have to ask you to trust me.

Also, I’m a fucking Bengals fan, of course anything…

California: where you can shoot and kill a stranger on the street and a jury will not hold you accountable for it.

Obama did not say that supporting the coup - begun by Libyan people in an effort to throw off the yoke of their oppressor - was his greatest mistake. In the very article you cited, he says his greatest mistake was “failing to plan for the day after.” That’s a massive distinction.

Earlier this year, climber Brian Koralewski was working on a V6 problem in Little Rock Canyon, Utah, near Provo.

Seattle is going to be absolutely covered in these torpid contraptions. Tailgates will be billboards for dog rescue volunteering, Jill Stein 2020 and Voodoo Doughnut stickers. I’m a liberal Democrat and these things make me want to vote Republican.

That wealth is going to start trickling down any time now!

michelle obama sure seemed to think the position had responsibilities, and i, for one, thank her for her herculean efforts.

In other news, water is wet.

TEMPE-Asked waiter at BW3: “God, did you hear about Greg Schiano?”

Maybe they hired him because of the Staph he would bring with?

Don’t worry. Recruiting will not be affected. The non revenue generating sports will absorb the cost. Or they’ll just fire some professors.

Uhh...I think you’ve assumed too much here, my pal. The origin of this rumor is a single line in a story from New Zealand. No one is actually trying to backdoor their way anywhere.

If Snyder is a clown, he’s a walking, talking Chuckie the slasher type clown. Forget the oceans of bleeding brains he’s yachting all the way to the bank on.  His blatant disregard for the well being of his his employees extends to violating both common sense and decency. Let it serve to remind people that it’s guys…

If there’s no grass on the field, play ball.

Note to self: don’t make casual joke that potentially implicates nuclear war around gilbertkittens.

Counterpoint: the less time Trump surrogates are meeting with foreign leaders, the less chance they have to fuck things up. Which they undoubtedly would.