Now the goose, you should fuck RUN FROM

no gods, no masters.

Is “ate the turtle, left the shell” the raccoon equivalent of The Godfather’s “leave the gun, take the canoli”?

When did the US government start hiring teens and vampires?

Robert Pattinson did an absolutely amazing job of stuffing his total disdain for Twilight down every time he was asked about it or had to defend the story. That acting was better than what he did in the movie.

I’m going to release my own collection of shitty books under the pen name “Stephanie Meyer” and confuse people into buying them. Please look for my first book about a Chupacabra hiding in the CIA, hoping to find love, but instead of love he finds - danger.

She is just trying to prove that she has no talent at writing ANY genre of fiction.

Please, for the love of god, someone send an ARC to Robert Pattinson to review. And then stick his review on the back cover.

Of course! The published versions are the professionally improved drafts. Sit with that for a minute.

Somewhere out there, E.L. James just preordered this and opened a new Word doc.

I think that sort of defines her in general. Some of the ideas could be interesting in the hands of an actual writer, but she’s not a writer. She’s a fan-fiction writer that somehow got a publishing deal.

The Host was SOOOOO BAD. It was like a middle schooler writing about what their idea of romance was.

“He’s in his own personal hell”

So it’s actually rape that makes you go blind, not masturbation.

Did you accidentally go to a local arts and crafts fair and not the RNC?

A bag hidden under the nanny’s mattress contained a large amount of her hair, which Huang allegedly ripped from the woman’s head. The nanny had been hiding it so Huang wouldn’t find it “and force her to eat it,” the complaint said.

Hopefully it will be written by the same jouranlist who gave us that sexist gem of a cover story about Margot Robie.

So as a punishment all he got is a slap on a wrist by revoking his booze card. Its good to be Palin.

What does it mean that this family, and people like them, feel so free to judge and condemn everyone else despite their own skeletons ಠ_ಠ. They can’t even keep their drama off the news.