Just a reminder: The Electoral College is not a person (not even one!). Second reminder: More than half of Americans did not vote Trump into office. Final reminder: Bad habits of people you associate with can rub off on you. Check the lying and revisionist history. Not a good look for your boy or you. Cheers!

I know you Trumpettes love fake facts, but Trump lose the popular vote, so...less than half.

“more than half of us”

“What brings us together is that we are very scared, highly unintelligent; both intellectually and emotionally, extremely bigoted, wrong, and soon to be forgotten very quickly.”

This just appeared in my garden... damn, Sean Spicer gets around.
Get the HELL outta my geraniums, asshole!

All of our spawn but one is taller than me now- although I have shrunk from a firm 6 ft to 5 10 due to hip replacement.

With Mother’s Day coming up tomorrow, I just wanted to share the story of when I was eight and my mom threw a can of creamed corn at me in a grocery store. In her defense, she did yell “Here, catch!” as the corn was halfway through its trajectory; just in time for me to look up, ensuring it hit me square in the face.…

It’s my 35th birthday tomorrow. That looks weird to even type. Halfway through the 30s already. Wtf. My older daughter will be 8 in a few weeks. Wtf. TIME. You crazy son of a gun.

I had a glorious pizza today. Goat sausage, fiddleheads, grana padano, apricots, spruce tips, spinach apple pesto. NOM. What you eating?

I feel as though we have been living the plot of some dramatic film for the last few weeks. But all this is true.

Why not all? Sprinkle a little joy into the hard work

You are the second person to say that to me today. So.

Only photoshop, but this would be the ideal way to have Spicer among your bushes.

It’s a fireable offense because now the person with 26 years of experience can negotiate their actual worth and get paid more than the person with 3 years of experience. And if the company won’t pay them their proper dues, the person will leave for a place that will.

Companies don’t want you to discuss salaries…

What about the loyal older guy who has paid his dues and is grinding it out, only to learn that some spoiled little shit straight out of college that he has to cover for makes more than he does.

It routinely surprises me how many people don’t understand this fundamental fact of employment.

Privilege is what you come back with?? I’d rather see some people’s feelings hurt in the short term so that they have a better chance to make a couple more schmeckles in the long term. Can’t negotiate fair pay if you don’t know what fair pay is.

This is a line of corporate HR bullshit that has no grounding in reality.

Protip: Print off a few quotes to sprinkle under the bushes. They make great fertilizer.

That’s cute, but novelties like these quickly fall out of fashion, and I’d much prefer a certified letter from a prestigious law firm clearing my name of any and all wrongdoing anyway.

Clever, but I don’t want my sweet tomatoes to have to look at that all day.