Ron Gant

Play. Lose. Repeat.

But don’t you see it’s because we love it that we must kill it.

American Roast Beef Yes!

This is the answer, of course. It’s so obvious that it will never happen.

Small collection?

Cubs fans suck now but they’re arguably better than Brewers fans, who haven’t even won anything yet.

Hey you know “bone” is sometimes a euphemism for a penis.

He must’ve gone to a Cleveland public school.

I don’t think Cleveland fans became total pieces of shit after the LeBron championship the way Sox and Cubs fans did in 2004 and 2016.

Arizona doesn’t get enough shit for being West Alabama.

Someone in NYC stole a single windshield wiper off my car.

This fuckin’ show was 2 hours long?

More like Schitt Air Disadvantage.

It’s not like the “lifetime” will be that long if you’re eating Olive Garden all the time.

The Powerful Baseball Son crown belongs to Ken Griffey, Jr. until further notice.

It’s almost like actively trying to make your team better creates a more interesting product.

When reached for comment, Simmons responded, “Something something 2004 something something Teen Wolf.”

I miss the rains down in Africa.

*Marianne Williamson promises to publicly audit all four sports leagues*