I think my car was broken into, (the glove box was open and the gloves I keep in the glove box were on the floor) and some fancy 64 gigabyte Ipod with video was left in my car.Guy went to D.C. once apparently, and really likes Counting Crows.

I read the Buzzfeed Dunst article this week, and knew immediately that it was wrong.

I love my ipod nano! I have to keep buying them on ebay when they die.* Look, all I want to do is listen to music and podcasts when I work and workout and I want to SEE what song is coming up. I don’t need to see videos or have my podcast interrupted by a phone call all I want is music and podcasts! Get off my lawn.

I think Hicks is mad that Daughtry has way more hit songs than he does (which isn’t hard to do). I vaguely remember when Daughtry got kicked off the theory was because a lot of people assumed he would win so they didn’t vote for him...or something like that. But seriously Hicks, no one even remembers you won, and even…

I love this gif whenever I see it. He really goes on a journey.

You know when you meet a new friend and you’re like, You are fucking hilarious! And it seems like you have so much in common and she tells the funniest stories and it’s all sunshine and light and drinking too much and stumbling home but then one morning she calls crying and is like, can I borrow money for an…

What is it about farmer mentality that nothing short of immediate profit seems to have any impression at all? If there’s a more myopic, solely self-interested group, I can’t find it. That they can’t absorb the cost of a couple of sheep to preserve a beautiful, rare, noble animal that’s got about 15 years of human…

I hate people sometimes.

“That was absolutely wrong and not what I meant to do,” she said. “I know that body-shaming is wrong. That is not the type of person I am.”

No. Just, no. She’s not being smacked down because she’s a “pretty white girl.” No one here is “jealous.” She’s being smacked down because she was being an abusive piece of shit who violated the privacy of an old woman and got caught. This was no “momentary lapse in judgement.” This was being an entitled asshole with…

I came into this article expecting to hate this bitch but now that I know she’s not that kind of person I don’t know what to think.

Seriously! I do deep-water fitness because I have shit knees and ankles, and most of the people in my class are people in their 60s and 70s. I’ve seen them naked in the locker room, (though I keep my smartphone in my locker and don’t take pictures of them because I am not a monster), and guess what? They look like…

Yes, this. To quote Chancellor Clarendon, who was being mocked by one of Charles II’s mistresses as he hobbled past (back in the 17th century):

I have just lost all respect for the heretofore noble title of Playmate of the Year.

Dear silly child,

This makes me so happy.

Mathers has been told, rather explicitly, that she exemplifies Western beauty standards, so I imagine it was easy to unthinkingly pass judgment on another woman who, in her eyes, falls short.

What a horrible human being.

It’s cool if we shame the surgeon responsible for whatever the hell is happening just south of that crooked bow-tie though, right? I mean, take a little pride in your work.