It’s like that “women talk more than men” thing, where men somehow get the impression that women dominate a conversation when really they only talk 20% as much men, or whatever that study showed. Or guys who scream that there’s “pay equality” already.

For guys that have to wear suits regularly, I can totally see this. The difference between a decent suit and cheap suit is startling, and if you’re in a suit required industry, you better have good suits. On the other hand, I’m wearing BR pants that I got on sale and a Kate Spade button down I got at a consignment…

The same could be said about the entire state of Utah

Tom, this is what government folks refer to as a “superfund.”

I could raise more money from Columbus residents to keep the Browns out of the city.

Shhhhhuttutppfmm , shhttuuupid.

The major question, of course, is whether L.A. has enough apathy to support two teams rather than just one.

This is a real artist.

Holy shit, awful! My three-year-old does better than that and he’s terrible. I’m always like “there are kids your age in Pakistan making soccer balls and you can’t fingerpaint a fucking cloud?”

Yes, but is it art?

Harsh Tom. He just wanted some dope bear snacks and some dumb humans tried forcing him to paint.

Grease prepared me for regularly seeing 30 year olds playing high school students.

This could literally be a headline from The Onion.

So this is why South Ossetia wants to secede.

That's a nice segue.

As a follow up, I would like refs to jingle their keys every time someone shoots a free throw.

Nah.

It’s not even that deep! He just wanted to Rhyme Nabokov and Cough.

Sting’s music is for people who think putting Grey Poupon on their ham sandwich makes them sophisticated.