This could literally be a headline from The Onion.

So this is why South Ossetia wants to secede.

That's a nice segue.

As a follow up, I would like refs to jingle their keys every time someone shoots a free throw.

I thought it was a shredded wheat biscuit at first lol I was like wtf shredded wheat does astronomy?!?!

Its a fucking Sun Chip

Heard it once said, “listening to Sting is like drinking cologne.”

Nah.

It’s not even that deep! He just wanted to Rhyme Nabokov and Cough.

Sting’s music is for people who think putting Grey Poupon on their ham sandwich makes them sophisticated.

That whole entire song was just an excuse for him to make a Nabokov reference! I hate it so much.

For nearly 40 years he has made slickly-produced, clever, smarmy bullshit music congratulating boomers for thinking how nice it would be to be, like, citizens of the Earth, man. He has not made anything else...

Mark Schlereth has some ‘thoughts’ on the solar system.

“Perfect symmetry” is redundant. It’s like saying “insufferable ESPN personality.”

“...and also why diverse, neverending acts of religious terrorism would be laughable if not for how ultimately meaningless they really are [all the innocent dead people?].”

People give too many fucks... I’m just trynna grab a drink and have my face sat on.

This is a logical and accurate response, and as such, it has no business being here!

They keep playing lavine at point. I think he could be a pretty good shooting guard but when he comes in at point the offense just falls off a cliff. No idea why they don’t start him at the two since they have no outside shooters in their starting 5. I have to think it is some kind of covert tanking scheme. (I haven't…

Rubio’s defense is so good at this point, he could stab the ball with a pair of scissors every time he touches it and he’d still be a viable starter.