Touche.....

You mean this guy?

“Whatever you do, don’t give us an insurmountable 10 point lead.”

back in mah day, you could crash into a tree at 100mph and just need to pound a ding out of the bumper!

“Modern cars suck, you can’t work on them!” shade tree mechanics everywhere like to lament.

Ah I know its cliche to want a tree planted over your dead body, but now I want a tree planted over my body so that in couple hundred years maybe my skeleton can scare someone when the tree falls over.

I know the NFL rulebook is long and long-winded as fuck, but I did not expect to see the word “disconcert” in it. I interpret this to mean the inside linebackers can’t make eerie howling noises at the opposing center in the hope of making him shit all over himself and his quarterback’s hands.

I’m so tired of Ben Roethlisberger trying to shove his shit down people’s throats.

I know a guy who got a similar “FBI” email on his desktop. He thought it was real so destroyed his computer, with a sledgehammer I think. Not the world’s brightest guy.

“Hello, this is the FBI and you owe us $500.”

It was a blizzard - it shouldn’t spill.

Because they usually are

“That’s when he opened my car door and gave me three straight shots to my mouth,” he said.”

“I’m only here so I don’t get fined”

for the record I don’t believe Coakley-Vargas came inside and simply slid her drink across the counter, but unfortunately the poor old cup tipped over and accidentally spilled. Things like that always seem to happen “accidentally” when tempers flair.

I call this move “Repairing the Glass Ceiling”

Like she looks like any other grandmother who tries to do the Nae Nae except for like that 2% of grandmothers who are horribly into being the chill grandmother.

That is just.

okay but wait

is this one of those bad latinos donald trump keeps talking about