No true lawyer ever answers a question, at least, not with a straight answer.

What a shock that Whoopi, ardent defender of 43 year old Roman Polanski drugging and raping a 13 year old girl, refuses to believe that Bill Cosby raped 40+ women over the course of his career after admitting to buying drugs to give to women to rape them.

“What was the motivation for an entire party to decide that I was a rotten person?” I don’t know, Whoopi — maybe you were defending an admitted rapist at the time.

And I say this because this is my opinion and in America, still, I know it’s a shock, we’re actually innocent until proven guilty. He has not been proven.

Maybe they should have sent the team from Regularsizednesia.

Yeah, and I guess put shit in your guacamole too, if you want. Equally good idea.

Everyone calls it Whole Paycheck. No one calls it Whole Check except for Jezebel.

That’s kinda... morally wrong. This guy sounds like he’s kind of a jerk. Seriously, who just does that? In any industry?

Two things can be true.

Jeez, the Lakers just can’t let the Kings have anything.

Maybe just combine the two tags to #tirefires

Damn, Jezebel writers killing it with the prose lately: ‘who looks like the result of a shameful one night stand between a Brooks Brothers suit and a copy of Atlas Shrugged’. Yes.

Yeah, but, true neutral is also the most difficult to play. So props to cats.

True, and chaotic neutral makes them interesting and unpredictable. My cat might curl up on my lap, she might be plotting to murder me. She may be doing both.

BUT MICHAEL BROWN MAY NOT HAVE HAD HIS HANDS RAISED! Doesn’t that mean that everything in Ferguson was black people’s fault?

Oh, no! Burneko, I thought you were cool! Turns out you’re just another shithead :(

Obligatory:

I think the proudest moment of my life was when Tig Notaro heard me giggle from the stage during her stand-up set, and made fun of me.

I hope I run into Tig someday, if so I will say "Excuse me I'm sorry to bother you, but I just have to tell you, I love your voice."