My favorite part about it is that flag is basically the only one that hasn’t been returned. Everyone else has made nice, and the Minnesotans just keep showing Virginia their ass every time they ask.

I need to keep finding new music. The local rock station still plays the same shit I listened to in the late 90s/early 2000s, and it makes me embarrassed for teenage me. New music is necessary to forget that time period ever happened.

New theory: Matt Harvey was jalapeno bacon mac and cheese guy and he just made bail.

Don’t try to tell me that the fire department doesn’t start fires to increase demand. I know what I know.

I will root for the Mets if they bat Colon 4th. Otherwise, no deal.

This is a great hypothetical. So many questions. Do you give more credit for being alive when basketball existed, or base it entirely on physical attributes?

This is the face of a man about to pull an Elvis.

Israel has declared that Jerusalem is its capital. The UN (and pretty much every country) refuses to recognize that, so embassies are still in Tel Aviv. Congress passed a law in 1995 saying the US should move its embassy to Jerusalem. Mostly to poke the Palestinians and everybody else in the eye.

he means the readers - the same ones that complain in the comment section of every political story posted on Deadspin.

What more embarrassing thing could they possibly think you did?

Did Burneko instantly age from his 30s to 65 in order to start writing his angry posts?.

We always knew you were secretly Simmons this whole time.

I picked Rubio because of the stories about him having a bunch of student debt and mismanaging his money; I feel that.

Guys, we’re great. And we are going to make SO much money. Let’s just think about that, you know?

I think they’re paying Tomsula in aluminum can tabs and food stamps, so they don’t really give a shit.

It also has a smooth, full flavored taste. At least they are smart enough not to mention what that taste is.

Ah. I’ve been meaning to watch that.

is that guy getting murdered by a unicorn?

Not only a dick, but he’s got the gall to act like it was an accident. Take your ejection like a man. You know you earned it.