In case you’re having trouble making out all the audio, here’s a transcript of how that all went down:

At least he didn’t pee on it.

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

I see your God and raise mine.

And someone who would go down on you in a theater.

I don’t remember it being this controversial when God was a white woman. And Canadian.

But I can’t fuck it yet. We have a long ways to go still.

I wouldn’t be so sure. If we’re talking about the recent Revis coverage, really anyone could be behind it.

Yeah, well, sometimes you’ve just gotta go with plan B

Never forget.

I generally disagree with Deadspin’s anti-dissent policy, but you need to be banned for this atrocious take.

I am a nullifier of this hypothesis. The Buttfumble encapsulates so much about Sanchez, the Jets, America, Two and Half Men is proof Jesus died in vain.

You know, for just a second I thought Lemmy and or Motörhead had covered Hallelujah...

I would play the shit out of that game.

I’m so sick and tired of you liberals endangering my children with allowing sexual deviants and predators into their bathrooms.

My sources indicate the Patriots will be starting an untested import from Mexico, Tomàs Bradià:

She seems nice.

Not all about that grace.

Always some sort of drama happening with those Gilmour girls