There are almost no parallels between what’s going on at Baylor right now and what happened at Duke beyond the words “sports” and “sexual assault.”

If things weren’t they way they are, they would be different.

There’s no talking in the corner.

You’re defending Jeff Loria. Go sit in the corner.

Jesus, this is insufferable.

Nah, visiting San Francisco is pretty great. You can walk everywhere (I did about 25 miles in three days), there’s tons of good food, the ballpark is awesome, lots of breweries if that’s your thing and nature isn’t far away if you want to get out of the city. It’s not a cheap trip, but I enjoyed the hell out of it.…

Yeah, I don’t think that’s true.

Oh good, we’re just being willfully obtuse up in here.

Sorry, he kneed him the nuts once and kicked him the nuts once. It doesn’t really change anything that I said above. You’re asking for a second answer to a question that already has an answer. You just disagree with it, which is fine, but don’t act like it hasn’t been answered.

Probably because he intentionally kicked a guy in the nuts twice. He did something and people think the punishment should be harsher than you think it should be. If “he kicked a guy in the nuts twice” doesn’t work for you, then it doesn’t work for you, but asking a question that’s already been answered doesn’t merit…

Please continue to keep track of which installment this is as the season goes on. It’ll help remind everyone of how many games the Cardinals have lost. Which is 21 at the moment.

Can’t wait until they roll him out in his wheelchair at the Bama game next fall to deliver a motivating halftime speech.

No, you don’t understand! I’m totally with you! I’m losing respect for Deadspin in droves! It’s just slipping through my fingers as I try and hold on!

Oh, god no, not the respect! Anything but that!

I swear, if you ever get offered a blowjob again, you better refuse it.

Let’s remember some Deadspin Hall of Famers.

But did you find $5?

Yeah, and at my job I don’t have to wear a suit, but my banker buddy does.

Then I...agree with you. This feels weird. Tell me other opinions you have, so I can hate.

Do you understand what Venmo is? I’m feeling like you don’t.