Oh, please tell me what town this is. It’s going to be funny.

You just started two sentences in a row with ‘and.’ Very sloppy, please revise.

Yeah, we’re the dense ones here...

What is “meaning much clearer?” This isn’t a real trick!

If there’s a Dairy Queen down the road from your office, then your office is in a town with not much more than a Dairy Queen and your office.

Damn, dude. You’re getting colder.

Yeah, that’s definitely the ridiculous part of this story.

Oh, look, the guy who thinks people in their 20s shouldn’t be hungover at brunch, a meal almost specifically designed for hungover 20somethings.

Where do you think Dallas is?

No, man, they already fired you.

I mean, you clearly know your way around Deadspin, so I’m not going to ask who you know here, but I think this complaint is a little light.

The Warriors beat them in the finals last year and won the most games ever this year. It would be *so stupid* to not mention the Warriors in an article about the NBA finals this year, let alone paint them as anything other than favorites.

If you hadn’t used that apostrophe this would’ve been such a great response to a joke.

You’re bored, got it.

We found the freshman philosophy major.

Do you have a larger point you’re trying to make here, or are you just swinging wildly?

Jack still managed to finish his shift at McDonald’s.

Gotta respect a guy who thinks long term.

You’re being a dick.

I’m so happy to work in a basement.