But not FETUS Hitler! There is an important difference.

yeah try telling that to baby hitler!

“As we get closer to the caucuses and primaries, some candidates are going to get desperate.”

grain silo full of tithes

My Uber driver the other night, noticing that i was going home from the bars by myself, tried to convince me to go buy a book online that would teach me how to get any women to sleep with me.

I gave him and his stupid fucking newsboy cap 1 star.

This lovely man came in every day, I burned his bread, and he left a $5.00 tip on a $4.00 meal. One time, he heard me (quietly, I swear) talking to another waitress about how I couldn’t afford to have my other cat spayed yet, and when he left, I found $100.00 under the cup for my cat.

The writing on that one is the BEST. I lost it at fleeing the great Fucks Famine of 2015.

Horrible coworkers clearly bullying a person with food allergies by eating all their birthday ice cream. Come on.

OH GOD. I haven’t even finished reading but that Funky Town story has brought actual tears to my eyes.

I realise that because this BCO is about nice customers, the pickings are likely to be pretty slim, but humanity & the Internet being what it is, I’m betting that someone will figure out a way to shit on the server, somehow. The upside is that - unlike last Monday - the ‘winner’ is unlikely to comment within a couple…

True story - my mom and grandma have curly hair. My grandma had always gotten shit at jobs for her hair. When she finally got a union job, she wore a straight wig for her entire probationary period (a few months?) ad then the day after her probation was up, she wore her real hair to work and they couldn't say a damn…

Cuckoo bananas is the perfect description for it.

How times have changed. When I was 11 in the 80’s I remember sitting for hours with noxious chemicals on my head to turn my straight hair curly. Stupid then and stupid now.

I’m so tired of my curly hair not being “nice” or “professional” enough. It’s so ridiculous that curly hair has some kind of weird value attached to it.

ELEVEN.

Ugh. Have you seen the commercials from Walmart imploring us to use a green light bulb to show a sign of support for veterans? Seriously, if you want to support veterans, how about you save the light bulbs and donate the money to an organization that actually supports veterans.

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.

In light of the topic of this article, here are some resources for anyone who needs help:

“There I was, enjoying a light repast at the Applebuddies club, engaging in a fine and stimulating discussion of Amanda McKittrick Ros’s brilliant use of simile and metaphor, when suddenly what should assault my ears but some jenny foreigner defiling the rarefied air of our great nation with her native tongue! Well I…