Oh my God. Did you ever tell anyone at the hospital?? I’m so sorry this happened to you.

“Fuck off!” angrily, in between accusations of excessive emotionality on the part of the perfectly calm people responding to him.

I think this person is just maybe not very nice. Your response was very measured and thought-out and you made a clear effort to explain the perspective of the woman who was walking in front of him. His situation was of course unfortunate and I’m sorry that he was unfairly made to feel like a potential criminal—I’m…

YES. What IS that??

Ooh, like when we all discovered that Ruffalo was a 9/11 truther? Rough moments.

People have mentioned the caseworkers, but another aspect is that more visits = more strain on the foster family, who (in an ideal situation) are trying to keep the child’s life as structured and orderly as possible while still trying to juggle all the mandatory appointments that are part of the foster care process…

“Sorry about how you totally can’t understand me. Too bad about your hearing. Sucks for you.”

Agreed. The Patrice O’Neal ones were the most convincing, because they were both more specific and more off-the-wall.

clinking glasses with you right now!

Exactly—build your immune system by laying off the Purell a little bit. HELP your immune system by getting vaccines. Saying that you’re helping kids build their immune systems through non-vaccination is like saying that you’re helping them build their strategic minds by sending them off to war with no weapons.

People who say things like “you should hate yourself” should be a given a wide berth, generally speaking.

I suppose the ones featuring her bald could be considered awareness-raising, since the shaved head was I believe something she did in response to the attack. Didn’t he cut off chunks of her hair with a knife or something?

I wouldn’t assume anything sensible about the kind of idiots who would do something like this.

…wait, sorry? You’re suggesting that you think I’ve never heard the expression “killed two birds with one stone”?

“Stars Are Blind” is an excellent summer jam and I keep trying as hard as I can to convince myself that it’s only because it’s extremely well-produced, and not because of her.

good point. Maybe it would be applicable to any of the schools within the public university system in the state of Ohio?

There is no good reason your friend should not be on the $20 bill.

Did she pay a gentle breeze to show up just as she was arriving (at Magic Hour, no less)?

Hm, not necessarily true. Sometimes I still think about the time I got food poisoning from this strange kind of chicken-lobster stew, and I did not like that experience even a little bit.

Why have I never before heard “got two birds stoned at once”???? I’m going to have to use that all the time now.