OMG Bub said "HAAAIIIIII"

Which color means "Don't talk to me"?

Yeah, it's creepy (and like you said, inaccurate). There's no reason for a dude to be invested in claiming that girls hit puberty at 9 and are sooooo much more adult than boys. It smacks of the whole, "Well girls used to get married and have children at thirteen, if a girl has her period that means nature says she's a…

Yep. I kind of feel like a lot of men work the "well men just mature slower!" thing the way some guys work the "well I just don't do housework/make sandwiches as GOOD as you do!" - as a way to avoid accountability. (Or, to be fair, the way some women work the "but I just don't understaaaaaand how to change a tire, do…

Honestly, on average the 40-year-old women I know have taken much better care of themselves and look much younger for their age than the 40-year-old men I know do. They've all been working out and eating healthy since their twenties, not to mention all the hair care and face creams and shit, and the men are just now…

Aww, good friends. I yelled it at my coworkers while we were moving a desk and when no one got it I was heartbroken.

What did you mean when you said pivot?

It really gets his condescending douchebaginess across though. Also, the fact that he keeps adding explanations of simple words in parentheses: "benefit (win)", "romantic (intimate)", "long-term (ongoing), "ad (profile)". I'M SO GLAD I HAVE AN EDUCATED MAN TO MAKE THESE CONCEPTS CLEAR.

This, along with the "PIVOOOOOT" episode, is one of the few Friends episodes that made me laugh uncontrollably.

You know the only reason he wrote this epic novel of a personal ad is that no woman in real life would sit still long enough to listen to him babble this dipshittery.

Yeeeep. As soon as I saw "must be 18-27" I was like, "Yeah, he's in his forties." And oh my God:

Ha, I don't know what happened to him, but he was a really good guy. He was a really laconic, dude's-dude kind of guy (phys. ed major, barb-wire bicep tattoo), but he was one of the most even-tempered people I've ever met and he would amuse the kids by doing the Legally Blonde "bend and snap" on command.

Seriously! God damn it. When I was a camp counselor, we had this eleven-year-old who got a crush on one of the male counselors and was seriously inappropriate about it. Like, she would look at him and ostentatiously lick her popsicle while making Courtney Stodden faces. She would flounce over and ask to sit on his…

I actually used a rest stop shower once and it was not bad. I was driving a London taxi and wound up at one of those big rest stops because the taxi only took diesel. When I went to refuel the gas exploded back up the pipe and all over me. I went in like "...something's wrong with your pump," and they were like,…

To expand on what others have said, if someone is worth dressing up as for Halloween, they usually have some identifying characteristic other than their skin color. If you dress up as Lady Gaga or Nicki Minaj, the thing that makes you recognizable (and the point of dressing as them) is going to be an approximation of…

I think they were quoting the person who wore the racist costume. Like, the offender posted the photo with the caption "Dressed as a Chinaman for Halloween!!!11".

I give the ACT, and kids will ask me for answers IN THE ACT. Everything from "I don't understand this question" to "What's the formula for [some math problem] again?" to "What does this word mean?" They also regularly do not bring pencils, the admission ticket they're specifically told to bring, or the ID that they…

Yeah, that's how I interpret it too. Although the misinterpretation you refer to might be the reason why we get so many roles like Kristin Stewart's Snow White, where the character literally has no personality, but she uses a sword and rides into battle, so the filmmakers assume they've created a Strong Character. I…

I'm afraid I can't take assessments on my womanity from someone who writes "adieu" instead of "ado."

Any kind of birth control is equivalent to baby-murder to these people. Soon the mere act of existing while not-pregnant will be baby murder, because every second you're hogging your womb all to yourself deprives a precious angel of its chance to live.