Remember Blue Jasmine, where Jasmine's sister bagged groceries for a living and still lived in this impossibly luxurious apartment? And everyone still talked about what a shithole it was?

"When the film shifts from Noah having sex with a hot furry…"
Nonono, Nathan, you don't get to skim over something like that so easy.

Were they hipsters before it was cool?

Is "“I’ll bet you are a nice guy. Why write something so cruel?! You’re a writer!!!! It was my first film!!! For what?! Click?!?!” the tweetiest tweet ever tweeted? Throw some hashtags in there and its legacy would be sure!

That's what passes for a Simpsons reference these days? Woozle Wuzzle?

His name is

The I Didn't Do It Boy?

At least you've still got that batting average!

I'll fill your hooha with goof juice!
https://m.youtube.com/watch…

You know, if you asked me to imagine what a bad Morrissey sex scene would look like, I feel like something very close to "bulbous salutation" would end up in there.

Blood? Better evacuate the dance floor.

I hope that's wrong, but it sure sounds like what he meant…

Yes, Mr. Quimby, yes it can.

It's from Monty Python, but yes. He's wanted in thirty states.

The shitshow can be fun to watch, though.

He'd have to invent some kind of disgusting mutant creature for that.

I'm not sure why people always act like NOT letting a door slam in someone's face is some kind of big deal.

I'd just like to say that The Mary Sue could not have picked a better header photo:
http://static02.mediaite.co…

You don't want to know what's under the Charterstone golf course…

The rods up our butts have rods up their butts.
https://raw.githubuserconte…