Congrats! I was gonna be snarky, but I guess I'll be sincere instead. Looking forward to it (even though I don't have cable and won't be able to watch it).

It's so beautiful and perfect.

The remake ends with Roman Reigns defeating Anderson and Gallows by himself.

"We have a solid copy desk here at The A.V. Club"

Typically, it's his face that does the shooting.

Matt Reeves is in “early talks”

Bacon of the HORMEL BLACK LABEL variety?

She's over in the hotel lobby, but I think she's busy.

It averages out to 3, like Scaramanga or Krusty the Clown.

It's a good thing he started with such an abnormally large number of fingers.

Yeah, but he probably owes them money.

I saw Third Eye Blind for shits and giggles late last year, and kept confusing the two when the inauguration came up.

It's simply astonishing how many Confederate flags I saw living in Peoria. It's not even the southern part of our Northern state, you racist shitbags!

He's not from Kentucky. He was born in Kentucky, then got the fuck out.

I always say "Chicago suburbs," but a lot of my fellow suburbanites do just say "Chicago."

Why not just make ten creepier?

Food Network.

Dammit, I logged on just to say that.

This is not inaccurate.

Anywhere else in Tennessee, that's a fair comment, but Nashville doesn't have a lot of rednecks, comparatively speaking. We pretty much all moved here from somewhere else.