You shut your mouth! Saganaki is the greatest!

The AV Club

You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

Here's where I tell everyone to listen to Chris Farren's album. I bought it early at one of his shows, and it's great, and he's an extremely nice, fun guy. It was a tiny crowd but he joked around with us a bunch and just had a great time performing for us. And I'm gushing a lot, aren't I? I might have a little…

I'm originally from Illinois, we all get like 6 votes. Jimmy gets one, Billy gets one, Nixon's head gets one…

*Ann Coulter hits Bill Kristol with steel chair*

Upvoted because I felt brave enough to click that.

Mississippi has a better marketing team?

I'm ashamed of most of those facts, but I am rather proud of the fact that our national anthem is based on a drinking song.

The Rock got injured!

It can be… *tries counting on fingers, gives up, uses calculator* five things!

Um…

I'm supporting Jimmy Carter as a write-in. Still eligible!

NOT ALL OF US LIVE IN NEW YORK AND HAVE CONNECTIONS, AV CLUB!

The best I can do is the Sex Box [for] One.

It's just been revoked!

*O'Neal breaks kayfabe, actually stabs Barsanti with broken whiskey bottle*

The movie studios generally put the kibosh on him doing any wrestling these days, sadly.

*Spike Lee angrily tweets Bruce Banner's address*

O'Neal's entrance is exactly the same as Stone Cold Steve Austin's, but yes, cheap whiskey replaces the beers.