Is she choking on a lemon?

I have the solution, the one person who BEST represents what the GOP truly stands for- George Santos for Speaker!

One thing I’ve learned about a pumpkin is this: if you throw one up in the air, it comes down SQUASH.

Basically the only thing we humans do that IS good for the environment is the nourishment we provide after death, and we even manage to screw THAT up with our insane obsession with preserving (via toxic chemicals) the empty shell that was once a person. Why do we do this? Because the invisible man in the sky says to,…

Someone should introduce her to David Lynch. She might wind up with an actual CAREER in film.

No, we’re talking about people being exploited. Many of the workers involved are immigrants who aren’t told anything about the hazards of the materials or offered any protective gear. I suppose the fact that some of them are undocumented makes it okay, right? I think you have something backwards. Employers have a…

Given what we know now about Hugh Hefner, I submit that the magazine should really have been called “Voyeur”. Just another relic that some of us never outgrew.

There are also reports that producing the quartz countertops causes an incurable, fatal disease in workers who inhale the dust while cutting the material to size, so there is the small matter of social responsibility.

The problems that most people have with slicing things on the slicer almost always stem from the machine itself. Many people don’t realize that it’s possible (and wise) to sharpen the beast every so often. When you don’t, things like half-inch thick pieces of corned beef wind up on someone’s sandwich. The claim is…

They copied The Sopranos on this, too, only a season earlier.

As many guns as there are in this country, it is completely impossible that nobody has shot one of these things yet. Thus, they are a myth. Maybe something like this roamed our forests at one time, but if so, where are the BONES? Don’t tell me...the unicorns use them to clean their hooves.

I think you should call it “beurre beige”, since it looks a bit tanned to me. 

Vidal was right. Those interested in running for office should be barred from doing so. These are very much the people our parents warned us about, or at least we should have been warned.

Fear is a colossal waste of time, except in the context of accessing adrenalin so you can overpower that guy with the axe or dodge the school bus. It’s largely useless if you simply plan your day wisely. 

One person’s “compost fodder” is another’s “perfect for pear cake”. At that stage they practically puree themselves, saving exertion while maximizing sweetness. Pear cake can be blissful, when prepeared properly. 

I guess we can save the Red Oak vs White Oak discussion for another day. Oak A, then...

Oh, ghee, I don’t know...

I’d take it a step further, and say that any well-equipped kitchen needs numerous thermometers. I like to put one in any box designed to maintain set temperatures, so one for each refrigerator or freezer compartment. Then we get to special cases. There are times when a candy thermometer is useful, and sometimes you…

My solution to overcrowding is simple. Anything that doesn’t get along with its neighbors gets HUNG. Kind of like Dodge City on a bad night...

I’ll take a santoku over a French knife every day, and twice on Sundays. The wider blade provides many advantages, including the ability to use the knife as a scoop. The most dangerous knife in the kit for the user? Boning knife, by far. Pay attention to what you’re doing when you use it, because you’ll wind up…