I’m pretty sure it’s an internal chronometer. I crack the cat food cans around 8PM, so my cats start watching me expectantly at around 7:00. When daylight savings changes the clock in fall, they start their staring at 6 and flip out from 7 to 8 because I’m late with dinner service.

Jezebel just kind of named Louis C.K. a predator when there were rumors about one in the comic community. They were wrong and even the original source chided them for groundlessly saddling C.K. with the rep. It was another comic who was creeping on women.

Don’t worry, Trump has a plan. He’s going to have all the work done, then just refuse to pay anyone. Problem solved!

I get that. Zelda really does look cool, and I’ve bought a system on the weight of one game before. Whatever else the Switch library looks like at the time, I’ll probably pick one up when a Kirby game is released, because I always enjoy those.

Those games aren’t out yet. So other than Zelda, the reasons to buy a Switch are “there are probably going to be shortages, because that’s how Nintendo rolls” and “probably there will be good software out at some point.”

“You also assume that everyone is buying a switch just to play Zelda, with no real proof to back that up.”

You won’t get a pass for beating a child. You’ll be suspended from the MN Vikings for several whole games. Justice!

Sorry, but you rubbing your crotch against women as they try to cringe away does not count as them groping you.

When I saw “Japanese-style” I assumed it meant “packaged so elaborately and perfectly that you feel bad opening it.”

You’ll be disappointed. No Netflix on Switch.

I’m tired of remakes of things that were excellent the first time around. The ones where a remake/reimagining can only be a weak echo at best and a travesty at worst.

Ah, so you were that girl I had a total crush on but was afraid to talk to. I always wondered what happened to you!

Peach and Bowser have been dating since the 80's. Their developmentally challenged friend Mario doesn’t understand a sock on the doorknob and doesn’t understand putting an army of koopas outside trying to wave him away. Mario is sure that Peach needs to be saved.

Yep, they’re following the Wal-Mart model: keep prices so low the competition can’t match them and go out of business. Once you’re the only option going, jack those prices up and laugh.

It looks like someone behind the Iron Curtain saw a picture of a Wrangler and thought “Da, I can do this.” He gathered his cutting torch and his Lada, and a bottle of vodka later this existed.

I like Chloe, and I’d listen to Claudia Black read the phone book, so I’m down with this.

Most people who drive tired would prefer to be home in bed. They’re driving because they have no choice. “Don’t drive” is useless advice.

There will be a show speculating about it on the “History” channel soon!

That was my first guess for the animosity he obviously has for her personally—that he tried his sexual assault routine on her but she wouldn’t let him anywhere near her no matter how many tic tacs he crammed into that wet shriveled pig’s anus he calls a mouth.

Does this idiot really think he can rehabilitate his career? Again? Just by trotting out the “it wasn’t my fault; I have a disease! I’m going to hang out in a country club for a few weeks and then expect a do-over” card?