This is how far our old beloved Jalopnik has fallen.....

Well that’s fair, I suppose. 

Pretty sure we just learned everything we needed to about you, lol

Probably a NP, but if I’m buying a minivan I want a sliding door.

What in the HolyBoomerBullshit is this monstrosity?

The design language was edgy in 1979. Now it’s just stupid.

You Muskies are a really strange bunch. How about you look up “illusory superiority” and add that to your resume.

I thought it was Xcrements. So, you’d say that someone Xcreted or as you say, “shat”. I like that one too. 

But if you know how to turn a wrench and work on diesels, you’ll never be bored. You’ll also likely not spend much time driving it, as you’ll be using the aforementioned skills pretty much constantly.

“so much more cool to own”

Good Morning Dear Elon Stan,

Ewww. Boomermobile. We shall call it “The Jingo”.

Looks like Rivian is an actual, real truck that you can actually purchase, and it’s very well reviewed. The Cybertruck is a low poly joke even if it does get made.

Elon says a lot of shit. Why take this seriously?

Eww. ND

I’d have to argue that if Ford calls it a Mustang, then it’s a Mustang. Not that I like it, but it’s true.

Being a teen in the 90's, I’m good if I never hear this song again. It was played to absolute death everywhere.

$79 for knockoff pair of $35 Chucks?

$79 for knockoff pair of $35 Chucks?

Wow, you’re still here swinging on Elons nutsack like you’re paid to do it. Posting a “safety report” from Tesla is a joke. 

B-b-b-but I only had money for rimz n stickers!!!!