Those first two prerequisites have been their Achilles heel for 40yrs

“Kenosha pot metal frisky with tinworm”

Something is very wrong with this bimmer. I don’t see any dead pixels in the dash.

I use those too. First, I use them to make some chicken salad, then coat the keyboard in a 2" thick layer. Wait one week, then peel the dried mass off the keyboard. Works like a charm. Delicious too! The aging process is what really sets it off.

I use those too. First, I use them to make some chicken salad, then coat the keyboard in a 2" thick layer. Wait one…

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

That’s a little redundant, isn’t it? 

I was worried that Jalopnik had gone Deadspin on us......

Oh shit.....Has Jalopnik been shut down like Deadspin? This is the 4th old article in a row......

A man of taste and distinction I see. I like the cut of your jib. 

Heresy!!! Kroil smells like 200 acres of lavender mixed with puppy breath and world peace!!!

Or keep a can of Kroil on hand if you really want to do any of those things effectively. 

“Who doesn’t love Alcantara?”

I regularly camp in my Suburban. There is PLENTY of room to sleep, even with two large dogs in the mix. 

I don’t think they’ve ever caught up. 

If you think any Cadillac is on par with Japanese reliability, I have some very bad news for you....

I’m sure this part will never fail, given Cadillac’s stellar reputation with long lasting gizmos.

This is right up there with all the ButcherBox crap.

This is right up there with all the ButcherBox crap.

Had a TwinCam in an Achieva SC. It was quick, but was a turd for reliability. It completely died at 110,000 miles.

The Orlove would be a Hipster Class vessel. It can only be seen cruising in the TightPants region of NYC, and is often seen in day-glo 80's battle paint while blaring whatever music is more ironic that day. Can only be filmed via VHS camcorder.