Obviously we need to start arming the 13-year-old girls.

what the fuck????? what is this bullsiht???? who approved this

I Accuse My Parents is probably one of my favorite riffs of the Joel-Era MST3K.

But did he lead off with Whoa Black Betty?

Boy, they knew where to screen-cap that video.

Fuck you.

You’re so much better than everyone else, Jim.

You better squeeze all the Charmin you can
while Lin-Manuel’s not around!

Check out “Call Me Lucky.” It’s both a phenomenal doc, but includes a lot of his comedy. He also released a standup album a couple months ago, “Whatever Threatens You.” Highly recommended.

“People say ‘Barry if you don’t love America why don’t you leave it?’ Because I don’t want to be a victim of its foreign policies.”

RIP, Barry. :(

“Dildiotic.”

These are people that used to get angry if I said “Shit!” and now I find out watch “Ash vs the Evil Dead” and have a John Waters lecture that I loved on their Netflix queue. I think my parents were replaced by body snatchers or something somewhere around the age of 65... Cool body snatchers though...

One of the most disturbing moments in my life was when I visited my parents. They are in their 70's, very... let’s say “rural” and have never in their life shared any of my tastes. And I stumbled upon a DVD set of the first season of “Ash vs the Evil Dead” and my father said “Yeah, we like that show - it’s fun.”

Someone buy that man a bra.

Narcissistic personality disorder brought about by years of sycophantic yes men not calling him out on his bullshit.

Sexual relationships in the workplace are how half of my married friends met. They are romanticized in film and television and the people who make film and television are known for engaging in them. To coerce, threaten or offer preferential treatment in exchange for sex should be condemned, but if you simply want…

Well that’s great.

Don’t need it. I have sports cars.