The more I read about Kelly the more he seems like the kind of guy who will resign after 6 months because he "can't even anymore with this Trump fuck."

He doesn't vomit on his balls when he's drunk.

Hopefully it's true. Anything that increases Bannon's risk of breaking his own fucking neck is a bonus in my book.

I would totally swim in that lake.

And now he's crying on Twitter to "leave civilians out of it".

I already posted this in the Health Care article, but it's worth repeating:

Hey guys! Reince Priebus (That guy whose name sounds like somebody saying a dirty sex act while simultaneously performing said dirty sex act) is out as chief of staff!

"Wahhhh! The Democrats wouldn't help us in that process we purposely cut them out of! They're such obstructionist bullies!!!" Waaahhhh!"

Douchey stupid fuck acts like douchey stupid fuck. This time in front of children, as douchey stupid fucks are want to do. More news on this after we finish drinking ourselves numb.

I dunno… have you ever been to his ranch? The name alone leaves a lot to be desired.

*cut to November, Trump fucking the turkey he just pardoned on the North Lawn*

Hey! What is and isn't smooth isn't up to you! It's up to Rob Thomas and Santana solely! They are the true and only arbiters of smoothness!!!

*a dwarf in bright pink spandex, sucking a lollipop enters*

SHUT UP AND PAY YOUR INTERNET TAXES!!!

They were talking about the comment section and not the article.

"Um… Okay, how about this: Adam Sandler is like in love with some girl. But it turns out that the girl is actually a golden retriever or something."

Art Linkletter? GLADLY!

I'd even go as far as blaming shitty parenting and mental health issues left unchecked for far too long.

X gon give it to the IRS, eventually. He swears.

I think the "We don't want to turn into CNN" comment was aimed more towards not becoming a constant source of "Can you believe what Trump did/said recently?" Which is fine by me. I look forward to more stories like Cartman dressing up like a robot to try and trick Butters.