Look at the way the fuck-turtle is smiling at the end of that first video. You can totally picture him sitting at home in his underwear, trolling around 4chan while furiously downing Twizzlers and percocets. He's a fucking troll.

Hey! That's not fair! Republicans expand lots of rights! Especially if you're a coal company… or Exxon… or Goldman Sachs… or-

I honestly think the joke would have gone over much better if the sign had included the full text PDP wanted. Specifically the “Subscribe to Keemstar” part that was left out. Because if you know anything about Keemstar you know that he’s a vile, racist piece of shit who would say “Death to All Jews” unironically.

“Ivanka... analysis mode.”

"For Those of Y'all That Wear Fanny Packs"

This reminds me of David Cross' bit about wondering if the people of the New York, New York casino in Las Vegas felt 9-11 twice as hard as the rest of the country.

Some artists have one great work in them and know when to move on. Then there's Tommy Wiseau (Or insert whatever other director/writer/artist had a moment of greatness then bled it dry for the rest of their "careers").

Posting this because more people should see that clip (It was Conan, by the way… but close enough):

Melanie Lynskey might actually make a pretty good Monica. I know you were joke-casting… but seriously… she's a great actress who sort of looks like Lewinsky. And their names are so close!

Haunted is a pretty great collection of fucked-up short stories that has a "meh" wraparound device.

If it's any consolation, I always thought Cato was way more handsome than Inspector Clouseau. I bet he crushed mad pussy, yo.

"Asian men aren't attractive"

Woah! Just checked out the IMDb page for this movie and… I'm 100% on board.

Maybe I'm just reading an implied tone in your response that wasn't actually there. Who knows?

It all remains to be seen. I'm hoping for the best for America… but not holding my breath.

True. Although it's less that we encourage ISIS to take over more than it's we create a vacuum of power where they can flourish.

Aww… we don't do that anymore because we're civilized. We just do targeted assassinations of leaders and replace them with people whose ideologies are more aligned with our own.

I agree with you. In general I think America should have better relations in the world. I don't believe that better relations = supporting everything they do.

So… basically it's Internet Asshole Madlibs… makes sense.

Oh Countie… you just have to hold on. Holllldd onnnn!