Kudos to the makeup lady for the getting the butthole rings around the eyes just perfect.

Modern televised news: Proving that even those with serious brain traumas can still take themselves way too seriously.

Replace Zombie Al Haig with Slightly Drowsy Sid Haig and you have yourself a deal.

Bobby Moynihan would still make it in there somehow.

Did he play the guy who saw the magic trick and jumped around and went "Oh shit!" or was he the one that stood there with a shocked expression saying "That blew my fucking mind?"

Plus leggy blondes. Apes love leggy blondes.

"I have an incurable mental health disorder."

That cat is straight-up trying to figure out the quickest and easiest way to eat your face. Sleep with one eye open.

I know not of these royals you speak of... I only came for wanton balloon destruction.

Be sure to scrape the backs of your fingers against the underside of your chin really fast. In Italy, that shows appreciation for one's shaving prowess.

I read something a while back where he attributed a big part of his weight loss (Other than the whole "eating right" thing) to riding a bicycle a ton instead of driving. Which is both incredibly smart (Because fuck LA drivers) and incredibly dangerous (Because… same reason). But… Can't fault the guy.

Well, not sure where you're from, but out here it's becoming more and more common place for schools (especially public schools) to use Facebook and Twitter as part of the school curriculum.

Man I'm glad I graduated from school at the turn of the century instead of later.

"Then simply avoid those schools or avoid public school altogether."

It's pronounced "Frogurt", ya dingus.

He and Fred Ward pissed in the same wishing well at the same time… Currently the real Jake Gyllenhaal is learning lines for the eighth Tremors movie.

Is there anything funnier than Ted Danson breaking down into a sob while saying "poo-poo"?

Yeah, I'm one of those nerds that loves to research. Internet makes it so easy these days doesn't make sense not to. Especially if you're good at parsing information quickly.

I got it, Sparkle! It was good! Honest!

Yeah, the show was really playing up the "why are we so engrossed in our online lives versus our real lives" aspect what with the "funeral" scene, treating leaving social media like a form of death, etc.