Let's Appreciate Rick Bayless's Big Beaitiful Beard

"Why would anyone tip that much!?"

[goes home drunk]

How many John Salmons's are there?

"I refuse to believe he is 20."

Fire the coach for not telling Gronk they were just playing human beer pong.

These decisions were Rocky at Wirtz.

No word on how Lincoln spelled Daley.

[throws shoe at pitch manager]

This "unspoken truth" is a rumor that persists in comments sections from people who claim to know a guy who knows a guy. There had never been any actual proof that this is true.

See, deflated balls aren't even that funny to to me because testicles never actually get inflated or deflated.

Soccer? Obviously, you don't know Ring-Around-The-Rosie when you see it.

Michael Bennett, get this kid a bicycle!

Utah doesn't even run the triangle.

This is how it goes. You do one thing, and you do it better than just about anyone, but then you can't do it as well, and you can't do it as often, and eventually you can't do it at all.

Oh, cool. You stole a baseball meme.

I heard that Ohio State won four times this year when they were underdogs. I can't imagine THAT ever happening for a National Champion before.

Can we talk about the "Starting XI," or whatever they call it? I'm pretty sure I read the name David Luiz, though I'm sure that's a mistake.

"As cool as a bomb disarming expert."

Please god, no.