Do you know Thomas Pynchon? Let's talk.

Meanwhile, @kinkyfootman still wonders why his team wasn't good enough the state's governor.

Jordan dunks.

I don't even understand why he's there, he's not governor of the state of sweater saturation.

No, no the guy is just quoting Nietzsche.

To be fair to the Sixers, have you ever tried to stop a tank?

Thanks for reminding me how embarrassing the Bears are this year.

Q: How did the soccer player get into the pool?

When it comes time for an England match, Kai, like his father, is always plugged in.

Well, that's something Lil B has never had to deal with.

"I didn't realize the story was satire."

Pete Carroll: "I also do liquids." [continues talking]

Hedy hey, hedy hey, hedy ho

We get it LeBron, you don't like Mario Chalmers.

Elsewhere in Southern California, the disease of Kings is still gout.

Can we have class outside today?

Bill Simmons: [grabs headline]

Makes sense. All that orange, they must've thought they were at a pumpkin festival.

Dudu comes from a long line of Brazilian soccer players, including Kaka and David Luiz.

I've got Robin Ventura. :(