[imagines all of Shawn Kemp's baby mamas shouting this at once]

In fairness, no one every asked him if the National AMERICAN Football League had scene the video.

I had another Wake in mind.

[sigh] I am this close to giving up on sports altogether. It's not just on the field and in the front office, the shit's piling up in the stands too.

This is a rusty trombone joke.

It's a good thing it wasn't raining.

As a White Sox fan who also emulated what he saw other baseball fans do, I'm serving a ten year sentence.

I think we can be certain that Angel di Maria did not have the same problem.

Does anything ever get bumped out of pending? Screw you, elitist promoted commenters!

[begins reading headline]

You may never walk alone but you most certainly won't be swimming with anybody else.

How far can he punt a football?

Next up: which of Arsenal's black players earned this red card?

These strange things happen all the time.

"I guess that's why they're called the Nine...err, no."

"This guy's got it all wrong, I'm a huge prick not a randy sailor."

[chicken steps]

Except that the article does use one pass as evidence that the last few terrible seasons with Barcelona were a mirage. In the end, he will probably be right, but it's still just one match against Burnley.

Well, numbnuts, Arsenal's chief shareholder is a Mizzou grad.

Where is her right heel? How did she get her underwear up that high? Is she thinking about me? Is that a wig? But first, who the hell is Ariana Grande?