Every time he gets into his car, the Panthers GM says aloud, "Gettleman, start your engine."

Jabba the Hut-Hut.

Love and Cleveland go together like doughnuts and orange juice.

He's been dealing with really bad back problems for over a year.

"Oooooooh! Ooooooooh! Oooooh!"

Sloth or entropy, I got Tyrone Slothrop.

Maradona '86 is a truly beautiful short film. That is all.

Not surprising, the Germans have always been known for their ability to take headers.

I know, it's not from the 90s. Kids these days!

Team chemistry in baseball is the dumbest thing I ever heard of.

That was the best penalty shootout I've ever seen.

After falling out of favor with QPR, he was reduced to training in the park with his son before Toronto eventually signed him. He's probably the only Brazilian player I feel good for after that match.

Usually when I see a joker with two birds, I wonder why women are so into schlumply stand-up comedians.

What Marchisio did today could've broken a player's leg or torn his ACL, thus injuring him for at least a year and maybe ending his career.

So, we only have to beat Germany to avoid a tough opponent? That's it!?

It's not surprising that an armadillo likes to ball.

Actually, they did. How we won gets more and more confusing every day.

Because Mexico.

[actually considers watching a WNBA game]