This map makes absolutely no sense.

Well, you certainly are dumb.

In every dream home a heartache/and every step I take/takes me further from Sherman/ is there a Sherman?

Nacho Monreal did nothing wrong. The real problem in this match was Jack Wilshire taking that free kick way too fast and in the wrong direction. Nacho Monreal was a hero in this match compared to Özil and Wilshire.

Me: [flips through records]

[grabs copy of Bulfinch's Mythology off shelf]

I've heard it's going to cost $50/hour to rent a...lane (?) at the new shuffleboard place in Brooklyn. That's about the price of bowling and shuffleboard doesn't even require any mechanical upkeep. It's going to be crowded AND expensive. I think I'll continue living a shuffleboard-free life.

"Can anyone explain this?"

Bob Costas: [watches video]

That's better than the other meaning of stoked: being fucked by Peter Crouch.

Do you think the IOC should consider making butt-diving an official event for the next Winter Olympics?

Ugh, why is this getting so many recommendations?

Which bank were you on your way to rob?

Kloser beginning with Atrocity Exhibition? I've heard this one before and it does not end well.

I work during the day, so the eight hour tape-delayed airing will be a much better time for me to watch anything but the Opening Ceremony.

Five Lakers: [play man-to-man defense]

Chris Kaman: [lies down]

Fuck.

Edward Snowspin

Or, maybe he's planning on moving Arsenal to MLS.