So, you're one of those glass half empty kind of guys, huh?

How is Great Britain better at winning wars? We kicked their ass twice, and then saved their ass from certain defeat. Twice.

List Of Things Great Britain Is Better At Than The USA

"The Browns will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the GM, CEO and head coach have been terminated...permanently. The last remnants of dignity in Cleveland have been swept away forever."

You mean to tell me that NBC doesn't have anyone who can REPLACE this eye-rot infected asshole? There's no substitute to put in the game? Jesus.

"In the 7th round of the NFL draft, the Minnesota Viking select Michael Sam, defensive end, Missouri."

I had notions of shattered hips.

Freedom of speech is freedom of speech? Nooo, comrade. In Mother Russia, freedom of speech is freedom to DIE.

We live in the age of Colin Cowherd and Darren Rovell. It's all about the business, metrics, and branding of sports. Athletes are sooo 2010.

I thought I was when I voted for Obama.

I agree factory farms are awful for a variety of reason. Unfortunately, it is difficult to eat ANYTHING not produced on a factory farm of some type. Also, most organic, grassfed and/or locally produced meat is very expensive for the average consumer.

I don't judge people for eating wheat grass and kale. I only ask that people don't judge me for eating bacon double cheeseburgers and fried chicken.

I know this is a HORRIBLE fucking place to broach this subject, but...I often wonder about whether most women vegans/vegetarians are pro-choice in terms of abortion. The argument has been, it's my body and my choice what I do with it. Yet, they rant and rave when I put meat in my body. It's my body and my choice what…

I agree. I was being a snarkish troll, but you're right. I have no problem with consuming humanely raised and slaughtered animals.

Go to New Hampshire. It's duty free and you can save a bundle.

It's nature. Predators kill and eat their prey all the time. Essentially, humans are omnivorous animals. We've been eating meat for thousands of years. Why stop now? Because cows are cute? Fuck that. Filet mignon is fucking amazing.

Wrong. That wasn't me.

But your jokes aren't funny. Your like the uncle at the bat mitzvah that gets drunk and starts reciting lines from The Adventures of Ford Fairlane.

I'd pay for daisy cutters to be dropped on your head.

Hard to get jokes that aren't funny.