Women be shoppin'! You cannot stop a woman from shoppin'!

but he's so charismatic.

Left: "Can't read my, can't read my / No he can't read my poker face."

The Huffington Post recently just posted a whole bunch of these that are just hilarious.

Kryptonian tapeworms are a bitch.

Why does Cyriaque get to have all the fun? Here's my caption.

But could this be confused with Ewe Boll's 'Alone in the Dark' starring Christian Slater and Tara Reid.

It turns out the North Koreans berated the losing team of cats for 5 hours and then had them with a nice brown sauce.

The attorney asked why he liked talking to her so much and Lester said, "She was a very beautiful woman." He was questioned as to whether they were truly good friends and whether Sypher even knew his last name. He said he was sure she did and then stood up, lifted up his shirt and said, "I wear my name on my belt…

Thanks for the heads up on this. I just submitted a request to my local library to order this. However I purposefully avoided reading the article & its spoilers because I want to be completely amazed and surprised when I read it as I am with all his stories.

It's like the Rosenbergs all over again!

...and no stories about people under the age of 18. They're always walking on my lawn and making a ruckus at all at hours of the day and night.

@Sheed's Bald Spot: This story lacks importance like Blofeld lacks earlobes. Although seeing as how it's a slow news day, I think we have all the time in the world.

@se7a7n7: My brother and I were probably the world's greatest Krull The Board Game players.

She's been doing it longer than I have, but she's done a great job

Lincecum was so angry when he heard about this slight that he left the Hacky Sack circle and waited in the van alone.

@ClueHeywood: Where's the purple stuff? Was Jamarcus Russell in here?

"Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle

If this was a Nicholas Sparks movie then someone's dying of Cancer.

"Oh my God! I just had a nightmare! Where is my Human Centipede doll to comfort me?"