I’ll Fudgsicle® you right in the Tupperware® with a JumboTron® if you don’t Kleenex® the Bubblewrap®!

Um... oookay.

Do you acknowledge that a definite pattern of specific behavior exists among a definitely specific ethnic group called Jews?

Also, I saw this joke on Twitter and I screamed. I can’t remember who made it so, I’m going to FatJew this situation.

Imma guess the Illuminati cut you off before you could finish

catholic: including a wide variety of things; all-embracing.

AFF got compromised, but the data wasn’t leaked. This is bigger and uglier.

What if these hackers feel monogamy is so important that they target sites that cater to people who choose your lifestyle. You may not care but a lot of couples out there probably don’t want to have their account info splashed around the internet for their friends and families to see. And don’t tell me there aren’t…

No. No this is not good news. And to equate it to legitimately good news (gay marriage) is foul.

Yeah, I think cheating is the fucking worst but also doxxing is not cool at all. So I ate a pizza instead of picking a side. I am team pizza. We are all team pizza.

There’s a lot of fakes. There are dozens of emails from the whitehouse.gov domain, which doesn’t even host emails. White House people use the “eop.gov” for their emails.

when i want to cheat on my significant other, it’s Adult Friend Finder or GTFO

The chances of this being the case are actually relatively high, given that Washington D.C. has the highest rate of membership of any city (and correspondingly, the hack released over 15,000 .gov or .mil email addresses).

My theory is that you’re talking out of your ass....

my husband gets a different woman every month.

Did you at least stay at a holiday inn express last night?

I’ve been hanging out on the subreddit “raisedbynarcissists” all day and this still rates as FUCKED UP. Consider that a compliment.

Girl, you didn’t just dodge a bullet, you dodged a giant fucking nuclear bomb.

I think I would be upset if most of my exes got engaged (I’m on okay terms with like two of them), but not because I love them deeply or anything. It would be because I find them to be entirely loathsome individuals and I want them to be alone and preferably miserable forever.
I am not as nice as I pretend to be.

Ctl-v in command prompt... I'm speechless.