Why is your brother close enough to your undercarriage that he can smell it? WTF.

Whatever. I'm over it. Focusing on other things...

Uh, no. That's where the bullshit idea that women who got pregnant from a rape weren't actually raped stems from. We want to eradicate that idea. It's not charmingly antiquated, it's dangerous and current and it continues to be perpetuated by nut jobs.

Somehow I find this level of incompetence invigorating, as if anything is possible.

I want mine to come with a salt lick, Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy ice cream, and an ounce of pot. Please and thank you.

We do live in a crumbling society. Morality has plummeted into a morass of debauchery, sin, and lowbrow attempts at relevance. We, as a people, strive for attention, and by doing so, we make fools of ourselves and others at the expense of culture and refinement. I understand you may feel overshadowed by another man's…

Fabric softener bottles used to have in their instructions not to use on towels. Now I notice that it's not there anymore. I guess that's to get us to use more product. In the winter time I use softener sheets in the dryer since they don't seem to make towels repel water and it gets rid of the static. I'm a white…

I'm imagining this to be a pumpkin macaron with cream cheese vanilla cardamom filling.

Only white precious fetuses need saving apparently.

I'm thinking that her man is so ridiculous that "putting on lotion" is her code for masturbation.