As a big gay poofterhead, it was a godsend eons ago for young still-not-quite-out-even-to-myself me when my mom bought my squeamish and easily-embarrassed sister an issue of Playgirl as a ‘joke’ xmas present. She just tossed it on a shelf and forgot about it. I did not. No, verily, I did not.

That’s a whole new level of ‘Is it a sandwich?’

I read that as “how do I get out of the gays” and I was anxiously awaiting an answer

Nestled in a hot dog bun.

Why the fuck would I ever want to see a flaccid penis? I’m not a urologist.

To be fair, “not enough boners” is pretty much a universal truth.

Why would anyone want to see a flaccid dick? Flaccid ones just seem sad. Did they think erect ones were threatening?

Yes? Are you hungry? Hang on I’ll make you something...

Mom?

Should the men in Playgirl have erections? Yay or nay?

and if it does, its probably a witch.

This is a legit question with a real answer.

Well, it’s hard to read effectively with his nose pointed up so high.

I recently read a story on Reddit about the nice guy who was dating the hot chick. She suggested they get naughty and tried to encourage him to talk dirty during sex. He came out with, “How you like that, you fucking retard?!” Baby steps.

“Sean got fatter.”

NOOOOOO MY VACATION IS RUINED!

Yeah.. I’m just surprised he made that comment about another man. I think of Steve as one of those guys who believes all women should look like a “10" even though he looks like a big steaming pile of garbage on a hot summer day. But it is what’s on the inside that makes him the most ugly.

My problem with it is it sounds you un-graceful. “It’s like having an autoimmune disease,” has zero pizzazz. “She’s like AIDS!” Now that’s a headline. 

As a person with an autoimmune disease, I am not offended in any way shape or form and actually think this is a pretty good analogy. People need to sit the fuck down.