I would help decide if there were a some method to, you know, tally my decision.  

inb4 “can’t see the difference” comments

The only thing more England than being England immediately is tricking people into thinking you might not be England and then being England

Kinja, you fucking bitch, let me edit my shit! 

That’s the spin, the more truthful answer is:

The best part is when she fell through the ceiling. 

If it had a “Pontiac Vibe” it would look more like this.

Getting hit in the face with a hot dog is the wurst.

Maybe they should make a film about Sith Lords getting stuck in a shopping center on Coruscant. I personally would love to see Maulrats.

There’s that old Gawker feeling.

Good Lord, how many of those things did Hadden make?

I dunno, the way Gomez stayed down suggests two guys, one cup.

Don’t touch them unless you’re going to hoist them.

Brother?

The saddest part is that he will be able to recall each of these moments perfectly for the rest of his life. Meanwhile J.R. Smith can’t remember the score for more than three seconds.

The restaurant says they were closed, but the women say the restaurant was open because people were still dining. Anyone who’s worked service knows a closed restaurant often has people in it well beyond the official closing time, and while the public may still be inside, no one new gets to come in.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

I listened on earbuds, I listened on speakers, I listened on noise-canceling headphones! And I hear the same thing every dang time!!!!!

Not to mention a couple of bottles of used motor oil and a set of snow tires to a car you don’t own anymore, but still have because getting rid of them is too much hassle.

Counterpoint: