How awesome is it to pole vault? I’m short and slow and have a body made for weightlifting and I’ve always imagined flying through the air like some graceful bird to be just the best feeling ever.

Relevant username?

Reminds me of that gif where this poor idiot kid leaps onto and breaks a glass table and everyone just stares at him.

I have this image of you landing on a Twister mat with those injuries

That coach was an actual sadist

We need photo or video proof of this

Yeesh, you grew up surrounded by a lot of asshole adults.

I did kind of a similar thing but way worse. I was in high school softball practice, the girl batting laid down a bunt, I rip off my catchers mask, grab the ball, and throw to first as hard as I can. But though I had great throwing power, my aim was slightly off, and I hit the runner on the back of the head. Gave my…

Running backstays, tack, winch, rig. And some connecting verbs. Unless some of those are verbs already, which I don't know.

A lot of people (myself included) don't like writing the word Trump, much less President Trump, because it's just so viscerally horrifying. So 45 has become an effective shorthand to refer to him.

What a massive asshole.

Aww, you were just an over excited happy kid. 

I took sports law 3L year. It kicked ass - super interesting stuff that has no application whatsoever to my life.

Uhhh, could you not? Thanks.

Ok, I came here to make a Bob Burgers joke like any other red blooded American, but holy shit, neither the coroner, nor the DQ Twitter account, nor Momin himself actually denied human flesh in the burgers. Each of them gave a statement nonresponse to the question asked. I'm inclined to believe that they were in fact…

This is why Deadspin is so great. A space for us liberal white collar types who nevertheless enjoy the pagentry of sport.

You mean the 3 million majority of us are bitter that our votes count for less because we live in productive parts of the country?

Yeah? I feel like the only memorably bad take of late has been their stance on Caster Senemya (sorry if I butchered that spelling). Whereas Jezebel went wrong in a lot of directions at once.

Donuts are indeed trash, but the redeeming fried dough item is funnel cake.