Important caveat: if you're more of a thunder thighed individual you'll need to wear shorts or something under the dress to avoid terrible pain and/or having to walk like a cowboy

Hey, I like the Bay Bridge.  It’s so sparkly at night with the light installation.

Photos of literally anything would be helpful.  We got two photos of the field and a photo of ... crap on the floor by the seats?  Can’t tell what that one was supposed to capture.

Lazio is from Rome, for everyone else who had to google that

It’s early days yet, but I'm really excited for the new mayor of San Fransisco, London Breed. If you read up on her look for articles about how she surprised the public works dpt with a walking tour of the streets so they couldn't clean things up for her first. 

Did you know that horseradish has a similar, but delayed, effect? My husband and I do. Started as a nice tingle like you'd get from a fancy lube, progressed to full on burning over about 10 minutes. 

Well thanks for giving me a new fear. I’ll let you know once I manage to injure myself exactly like that. Damn bags of sand always get in my way.

Time for some kegels

Confession time: I'm a Clinton loving liberal millennial living in San Fransisco with two cats, and I fucking love God Bless the USA in all of its schmaltzy earnestness.

We did not lose Vietnam! It was a tie!

Dude, please stop tugging it while driving, that’s dangerous.

Most women can stop peeing mid stream.

This story is just, *chef kiss*

This really varies by state.  7 states, including California, require tipped employees to be paid the regular minimum wage: https://www.dol.gov/whd/state/tipped.htm

The former. The lovely Ms. Patrick is only the latest in a long series of beards.

As one of those fans, I agree.

That one is used by the same gross assholes who use words like hubby and honey-do list and complain about their spouse / the fact of being married at every opportunity. 

Now make like a tree, and get out of here

This is the correct answer. Along with it's sibling phrase, whattya gonna do?

It’s pretty goddamn horrifying from the wife's perspective as is