That would be a goddamn delight. Question: are non awful white players allowed in? Because I would empty my bank accounts for a Negro Football League Eli Manning jersey.

That demographic tends more towards Jets fandom anyway

If you've ever seen Jaws, and heard the story of the Indianapolis, you know why the ocean is scarier.

“existential dread" is not the same thing as "scary." Ocean is scarier.

If there were any student records on that computer it wasn’t.  FERPA violations are a BFD.

I read a story on another site that said the girl didn’t have an epi pen with her at her friend’s house.  Her parents administered the two epi pens to her, but by that time it had been like a half an hour since she’d eaten the cookie.  She also apparently went home instead of to the hospital.

She also didn’t have an epi pen with her, so epinephrine wasn’t administered until she got back home a half hour after eating the cookie.

Why, in the name of all that’s holy, did they stick with the quilt story until the bitter fucking end?  

Norovirus is unreal.  I picked it up while en route to my cousin’s wedding, that I’d flown across the country for, including a 4+ hour drive in traffic from DC to Richmond.  Managed to get myself upright long enough to see the actual ceremony, then spent the reception in my hotel bathroom.  Wonderful trip all around.

Ever get a clear shot on a trip? It’s the best feeling. You blitz along the highway, arrive fresh as a daisy, and joyfully declare “There was NO traffic!” to anyone who will indulge your boasts. It’s the greatest dad feeling there is.

I think he assumed that 1) no black people were on the call and 2) no white person would care

I bet he was about to make a hilarious joke about screwing in lightbulbs

Call 911 and threaten to OD unless they rescue you?

Plus don’t you have to reimburse rescue services when it was your own stupidity causing you to have to get rescued?  I feel like that’s a thing.

Police can’t be in the position of choosing at the outset which calls to respond to and which not to respond to.  That leads to all sorts of bad places.  Cops have to show up every time.  Even where, as here, it’s a massive waste of resources and pisses off everyone including the officer.  Solution is to start…

They’re seeking basically a ruling that the 2002 statute applies to this incident. So when they’re sued 300 times by each of the victims and their families, they can dispose of the cases quickly by pointing to the ruling they got ahead of time. They’re trying to conserve resources by doing this, they’re not seeking…

Een Soviet Russia, ediot haff you.

That was remarkably cute. A+ Lions PR person

If they made that announcement they'd have to immediately pay a shitload of money to Papa John for terminating the contact early

So if you reference super racist shit to emphasize your point that you should get off because you're less racist than that people can't be offended because the super racist shit actually happened?