I used to ride my road bike year round but not anymore. I don’t care what state or road you’re on. So many people aren’t paying attention to the road anymore. It’s their damn phones or their video screens getting bikers killed. Riding against the traffic flow may be illegal but at least you can see them coming.

What a class act. His Mom must be so proud of him.

How’s that “just in time” ordering working out?

Start with a minimum of 6 months in jail and 50K fine for a first offense. A DUI will cost you at least 10K and your license. There’s room now with all the minor weed offenses getting out early. No more messing around. Jail.

You go Dave! Say what you think and fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke. Not everyone toes the liberal line regarding bi-trans-cis whatever and it’s sad that the circular firing squad of the progressive left can’t see that they’re censoring what they don’t like, just like the right. You don’t like what he says, don’t…

He’s rich, he’s in hog heaven and he doesn’t give a fuck what you or I or his voters want. He’ll play golf for free with his owners and get a board seat on Exxon and hang out with his fellow coal mine owners at the Greenbriar. 

Manchin and Sinema are Republican moles. Manchin was elected by Exxon and Big Coal and Sinema was elected by Big Copper. They can profess their Democratic credentials but when push comes to shove they’re Republicans. They’re the designated monkey wrenches in the machine.

Not just an egg wash, try slathering your Thanksgiving turkey with mayo just before it goes into the oven.

You’d expect a toadstool to be on  a steaming pile of shit, wouldn’t you? Isn’t that how fungi work?

I loved Burns “Ali”, now maybe he should correct his mistake when he spit on the memory of Ty Cobb in his “Baseball” film. The first superstar sports figure and the greatest player who ever lived. All the trash talked about Cobb is based on one book written by a hack journalist Al Stump and Cobb needs to have his…

Why is any political writer surprised when a Republican talks out of both sides of their mouth? 

Remember that your child hears and remembers everything. They’re sponges. And you can’t be afraid of their first few tantrums. Don’t give in or you will sorry for the next 10 years. And most importantly of all, put your damn phone down and pay attention. If you want to raise an e-heroin junkie then stay on your phone…

What did Bill Burr say about an “epidemic of gold digging whores”? Oh, right, Melania, she’s patient zero.

Whine all you want pizza snobs, but I can get an 8 corner with extra pepperoni well done for 11$ from Little Caesars.. Fuck those $15-20 artisanal jokes of a pizza. Those things are the pizza equivalent of a half-caf, 3 squirts of caramel macchiatos. Crispy crust and slightly burned pepperoni. That’s a pizza.

Potatoes fried in bacon grease and the next level of Heaven.

What exactly does an “executive producer” for Jeopardy do? It’s followed the exact same formula for 40 years. Other than changing the look of the players stands and the frame around the questions what does this guy do that makes him so valuable?

The Big Mac has been and will always be the perfect burger. I’ve never had a bad one.

You’ve never worked as a server or a bartender have you? No one reports 100% of their tips. Every restaurant owner I’ve worked for always took a C note out every night. Unless someone gets greedy and really stupid and claims no tips the IRS doesn’t bother. If billionaires can get away with no taxes why bother someone…

Get some baristas to post their most ridiculous customers orders. 

Roasting everything is the key. Tomatoes, peppers, corn, everything.