Certainly is a great idea to pile up a bunch of shit and let it sit there gathering dust and being a fire hazard. But, you know, they used the phrase “temporary liminal spaces” so you know it’s good advice. Bleh.

OK, now this is REALLY upsetting to me. You should use ChatGPT for FUCKING NOTHING. Use your brain. Put in the smallest drop of effort to communicate with another human being. A thank-you note with a side of passive aggressiveness from a 7 year old? NO to that. A CONDOLENCE note that you couldn’t manage to craft on…

Is there even ONE person out there who learned something here? Is there anyone who didn’t know what this is? We’re living in the age of “explain it to me like I’m five years old,” but this is... wow. Just wow.

While I don’t give a shit about TikTok, don’t use it, have seen little to no value in anything posted there that gets shared elsewhere and I stumble upon it, what really happens if it gets banned is that democrats lose in 2024. Yes, I’m aware there is huge bipartisan support for banning it but the blame will fall to…

“Oh, wow. I love your Aldi shirt and flip flops!”

Who sat there and decided The Blue Lagoon would be a good addition?

My poop schedule is just prior to my daily shower. During this shower, I wash my asshole vigorously.

The hairs in it only add to the charm.

Let’s just climb off the Peroxide Panic Express, shall we? The “warnings” about a splash of peroxide are simply ridiculous. It staunches minor bleeding and disinfects rapidly. No one is going to stop using it, no one is getting hurt by it, no one is going to suffer the effects of peroxide “causing more harm than good”…

Articles on this, thus far, have not been clear. Prohibit menstruation from being TAUGHT? Or prohibit human beings from exercising their first amendment rights? Or both?

“Peanut buttery prize” is a phrase that should never, ever be typed again.

Not a huge fan of jelly beans but will say the Starburst beans pleased me mightily last year and I will be getting more. 

I’ll actually agree: cleaning can make you feel better. Sometimes. I’ll disagree that it needs to be the living room. It could be. But if you get more relaxation and comfort in your bedroom, clean that instead. Or maybe you like your bathroom all spiffy so you can take a long, hot shower without mildew. Or take a…

This amount of Peeps = people are buying them. And eating them, but for the portion that go into the microwave and get filmed for Tik Tok, I guess. They’re not anything to look forward to, yet people do. Add a new flavor and people are thinking “maybe THAT one will be pretty good”. (It will be just OK and you won’t…

Will crash and burn in less than a year, bet on it. Just like “impossible” meats. 

What a load of mega bullshit, right? When I was a kid, this would be called “being a brat” and “you little shit” and “you better watch how you talk to adults” and “I’m the parent here” and “you just lost TV for a week”.

Getting bored with the “7 Deadly Sins of....” articles that permeate the cyber miasma here - and all over the net. Creativity - dead.

You know, I see the headline for dong-shaped Easter treats and I’m all excited to read the article and hurry over to Aldi - only to find out they’re only in the UK. Come on, man. Don’t be a dong-shaped Easter treat tease like that.

Houseplants are extra lovely when glasses of water are sitting next to them with a soggy paper towel wicking water into the pot. Just lovely. Look, if you can’t water a plant, don’t get a plant.

Smoke some weed. Have a drink. Masturbate. Better yet, have actual sex with another human. You may combine these things any way you see fit or enjoy them individually. There. Now, isn’t that better?