I’m going to just ask Alexa. Or Google Assistant. Because it’s 2022.

Clover is great - it was in my lawn and neighborhood lawns naturally anyway, but I tossed more seed in. Also help fill in bare spots and is slightly helpful slowing down certain weeds. Plenty of bees hit that yummy clover. Dandelions are fine with me, they only last a month, I let them flower but usually need to mow…

Natural methods just don’t work effectively. Shudder to think of the mess from baking soda or corn meal. Vinegar is weak, weeds will return soon. Boiling water, dangerous to you, and again, the weeds come back. I am not a fan of weed killers but I don’t have much choice. Two or three applications per season, and I…

Trimming off the brown simply never works - it looks like crap and in 9 out of 10 cases, the cut leaf will die entirely. Just snip off browned leaves at the stem and be done with it. The tips for learning why your leaves are browning are valid. 

Medium power. Sorry, you’re gonna destroy fast food with full power nuking. The extras will need to be refrigerated - I can’t imagine how they will come back to life evenly heated with a full power zap. Buns turn to rubber. Ah, but half power - now that works, just takes a little longer. You’ll want to test various…

If this ever comes up in a Jeopardy! category, we’re good to go, so cool.

I wouldn’t use dental floss to tie up plants - even though the article mentions doing this “gently”, it’s very likely that as the plants grow, the floss will get tighter and slice into stems. Garden ties are very inexpensive. I purchased several spools of green ties at $1.25 each and have had them for years. They are…

I’m cool with LGBTQ being “appropriated”. I’m still not even sure who the Qs are. Gay dudes who can’t laugh at the word “queen” need to have their Gay Card revoked. Pretending to be angry at this is like getting uptight at a drag show. And, no, I don’t give a shit if a straight, white dude came up with the ad campaign…

Interesting. Those buzz patterns might be more easily identified, however, if one were to place the phone inside one’s underwear. Just an idea.

Well, I never! Spiral Ham Day is not bullshit, good sir. May as well suggest that Gorge on Bacon Day is not a religious observance! 

Never understood why people purchase pre-cut fruits and veg at ridiculous prices, even before inflation. Friend of mine works at a major, respected grocery chain. The cut fruit is done off site and shipped in. Recent batch had listeria. Yeah, that happens sometimes, but unlikely if you cut your own. He also remarks…

Nothing is proven here, it’s just internet cynicism playing on a loop for doomscrollers. Of course being sentient makes some of us suck. It also makes more of us appreciate our lives and respect the lives of others. 

How about throwing out the hideous plastic lawn furniture?

I’ve always wondered who buys the medium eggs. They’re rare to find, probably because they don’t sell and don’t stocked. Is there a dude out there who thinks “well, I just can’t possibly get another teaspoon of scrambled egg down my gut so I’ll get the medium...”? I hope not. I don’t want to meet that guy. The extra…

Oh, my god. The diarrhea! You gotta get used to oatmeal. Slowly. A daily bowl jammed with more fiber than an entire field of oats, PLUS the yogurt - whoa. I once drank too much kefir - can’t even explain the sickness but you can imagine how it finally resolved - not pretty.

I clicked thinking: “what in the world could make my chocolate covered pretzels any better? Impossible!”

He just resigned first instead of being removed - a ploy. And a statement written by PR team. He remains an asshole.

Ugh. The devil. God blah blah blah. Pray.

I’m very happy for you - you seem extremely proud that you never had a toaster. Ever. If I throw mine in the garbage, will my life improve? I don’t think I want to spend the cash on an air fryer right now, I don’t have counter space for a toaster oven and it seems like a pain to heat my oven for... uh... toast. And!…

OK, everyone. We’d better move now. Just find a new job, pack up and go, leave it all behind, friends and family, so long!