Good story, great punchline.

It's actually a joke about me being an asshole. If it was about apathy, I wouldn't have made the joke.

oh, a joke about soccer apathy. good.

If you're the keeper, do you trust the ref to know that throwing it into the goal results in a goal kick, or do you try to save the ball?

We owe this man a deep debt for his cervix to society.

Gynecology anecdote: My dad is a pediatrician. When I was 13, I was poking around in the basement when I found his old textbooks, including a gynecology textbook. Being the pre-Internet pr0n 80s, I thought I'd stumbled onto a gold mine. I eagerly cracked it open, awaiting the glories I would unearth within.

I don't want to speculum, but this is going to stirrup some controversy.

"YOU ALL CAN CALL ME MOZILLA FROM NOW ON BECAUSE I JUST HAD TO FIRE FOX."

I find it hilarious that the picture to the left of the dick and balls is a hot women who is obviously staring and judging. Staring.... and judging.

But is it "elite?"

I have been a Broncos fan since I was old enough to choose a team—about 5 years of age. When I wore a #7 Broncos jersey to my first Punt, Pass and Kick competition, the name on the back was "Morton" and not "Elway." I remember Denver being the place Tony Dorsett came to die. I remember John Elway losing three Super…

All was normal for Sam Pagano until he found out he accidentally purchased a marijuana cigar

Man Seahawk fan, you guys squandered all good will from other NFL fans in record time. Went from zero to Cowboy fan over night.

I love Seahawk fans who think that being good for 2 years somehow atones for decades of shit. Just remember, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers were a defensively-driven juggernaut a dozen years ago.

Cheer up; there's always legal weed!

As a Seahawk fan, I don't know why you would ever have cared about Manning. Your team sucked throughout his whole prime, then kicked his ass when he was over the hill...

if there's ever been a more intelligent QB, I've never seen it. Smartest player on the field, period. If ever a player knew they were losing enough talent thru age or injury that it wasn't conducive to victory it'd be Peyton Manning. My point is he may be wise enough to retire before too much downslide a la Barry…

I'm sure there's not another team in the league he would rather have his last game against.

As a Broncos fan, I'm okay with J. Thomas leaving. He's injury prone and wasn't physical with his coverage today. Peyton has been off for a few months. CJ looks promising. I don't even know. I'm out of booze, so I'm sad again.

How crazy would it be if his last game ever was losing to the Colts?