I’m likely projecting but stories about Tiffany bring up feelings I have about my estranged, abusive, demented family from whom I fled when I was 17. We pretend we’re still a family despite me missing the past 4 years of holidays and birthdays, and hey I won’t turn down a check if it’s offered to me as a gift since…

Tiffany,

I know two cops personally. Both were ex coworkers of mine who went on to join the force in some capacity years later. One joined our local PD and the other is now a county sheriff. They are, by and large, very different dudes. One tall, one short. One kinda chubby, the other built like a goddamn tank. They don’t…

“NOT FARTING! NOT FARTING! NOT FARTING! FARTING A LITTLE! NOT FARTING! NOT FARTING!”

take them to a cobbler, wont cost much dough, everything will be peachy.

At first I thought “The Dentonite” was Nick Denton’s new rag and got unreasonably excited.

Last year I had pieces of cloth and clothespins in my kindergarten classroom that the kids would make outfits out of. One day at sharing time two little boys proudly stood in front of the class to show off the dresses they had made.

We might just... earlier this year, I was at a wedding and my daughter spent most of the reception playing with a little boy wearing a My Little Pony dress. She didn’t think anything of it and they bonded over My Little Pony.

“When I was 12, my feet were so small I wore my sisters’ glitter shoes. My dad would whoop me: ‘You’re not going to school now, you’ll embarrass us!’”

“Gender suspicious” is a glorious phrase.

For those curious about the brother/sister/brother reference in the statement. From David Arquette on Kocktails with Khloe:

I kind of read the exact opposite from this statement. It feels like Alexis’s brother was being very careful in his use of language and was very respectful of Alexis’s preferences/wishes.

Maybe Alexis identified as co-gender at the end? That would explain the doubled pronouns.

Rest in peace, dear Alexis.

Ann Coulter bombed and Phyllis Schlafly died. What a weekend!

Jewel’s response is lovely:

I was 5 when Wetterling went missing. You’re not wrong. There’s not a kid born in the 80's here whose life wasn’t shaped by this tragedy. Obviously, this wasn’t the outcome we all hoped for, but I’m so glad for his family that this ordeal is over. This was one of those things that I didn’t think would ever be solved,…

Oy. Your service is appreciated.

don’t forget the frosted lipstick!