"The child made no acknowledgement of her father's sad words. She had never acknowledged anything, nor had she eaten or breathed unassisted. She was alive and nothing more, which was good enough for the politicians that forced her into existence."

"Also, you have no idea what I'm saying because you were born profoundly deformed and died with minutes."

"Hey sweet child, I just wanted to tell you the story of your mother. She was a beautiful, brave woman, and she died just for you. Those nice people kept her body alive for months just so you could be born! Even though she was already dead! Isn't that a wonderful story? Did I mention you don't have a mother because…

I just listened to a grand jury report on sex abuse in the Philadelphia archdiocese, and what you often saw there is families trying in good faith to go through the church first, getting promises from church leaders that, yes, they'd make sure the offender wasn't around kids any more. Of course, none of these…

I really wish I had something eloquent to say about this, but the only thing that immediately springs to mind is:

Not for nothing, but "vitriol" sounds like some sort of weird animal entrails that people in St. Louis would eat slathered in butter and chili between two slices of white bread.

No, you're thinking of Pizza made BY a giant cracker.

Yes, I guess I should also point out that I was raised mormon, served the mission, went to byu, etc etc and am now fully out of it, so I'm afforded every right to be as critical and mocking as I want

Generally in Texas, those three years are referred to as "fourth grade".

Yeah. We always had a 'Yay Missouri' week to convince us we weren't living in the worst state ever and waffle cones are something everyone loves, so they were a common focus. Like we made fake ones out of construction paper and had ice cream parties.

There are also cases of human chimeras that have both male and female karyotypes and yet appear unambiguously one sex or the other. Which kinda throws a wrench in the whole "you can never change your chromosomes" biological essentialism that trans people get beaten over the head with. Yay for biology being complicated!

"Well you see, he was inside of me, and after grunting my name, then God's name, then my name again, he blurted out 'marry me.'

My husband, not overly sentimental, says to me on Sunday "Aww, did you see that latest proposal video? It's cute."

10/10 would watch. Better get to finishing that script!

"Today we received the news that some ignorant kids have quickly destroyed something that thousands of men built," Burkhart writes.

I just want to be sure I'm following this.

Hi, I just had post this reply so you could see it in your notifications. It appears some asshole has hacked into your Kinja account and is posting stupid and unnecessary contrarian posts with unnecessary semantics arguments.

A) You're taking this entirely too personally.

I was once in a "fancy" Chinese restaurant in Chicago for my birthday and they had just waxed the floors. EVERYONE was falling down. Servers, customers, everyone. It was bizarre and hilarious. The management was losing their minds over how many meals they were comping. I wiped out before I even got to my table. My…

I first heard of Barnard months ago when he was featured on CNN and was (obviously) still at large. The CNN piece (hosted by John Walsh) featured a brave woman who was raped repeatedly by Barnard over a number of years; somehow, she had found the courage to leave the group and alert authorities. Appallingly, her…